Category Archives: Uncategorized

September 6, 2022 I woke up this morning to a very sick puppy dog. She made a colossal mess in my beautiful townhouse with various doggie bodily fluids and I drove her to the emergency vet with eyes blurry from tears and said various doggie bodily fluids all over my new dress. I knew sheContinue reading “Stretched”

September 5, 2022 I got a notification in my email the other day that reminded me that the flat fee I pay each year to own and operate this blog page was being removed from my bank account. I immediately felt some guilt because I haven’t written a post since April. I’ve been going downContinue reading “Being Single is the Shit”

April 10, 2022 “Every man I date has a cat, and I don’t know what that says about me. Sometimes I think they don’t have a cat, and then I show up at their house and realize there’s a surprise cat. “ Most of my day-to-day conversations fluctuate between general nerd speak (“The principal componentContinue reading “Rich Lady Taxes, Surprise Cats and Uncontrollable Laughter”

March 9, 2022 This is what I typed into the Google search bar on a crisp fall day in 2020.  Immediately, the Google autocorrect feature assumed that I was asking the entire internet the existential question we have all asked ourselves at least once – can I be happy alone? Immediately, Google showed me suicideContinue reading “Can I Be Cappy Alone? (Re-post)”

January 9, 2022 What does she look like? Thin. Pretty. Big tits. Your basic nightmare. When I was in high school, I was having a sleepover with my best friend, Megan, and she introduced me to “When Harry Met Sally”. I remember feeling annoyed that we were watching a lame movie from the 80’s. NowContinue reading “Heartburn”

December 17, 2021 I’ve never actually seen an episode of Sex and the City, but I like to imagine that it’s about four independent, single women who live in New York City, go on dates, tell each other sassy stories over brunch, and cry themselves to sleep 3-4 nights per week. Let me know if I’mContinue reading “Paper Cuts”

December 5, 2021 I’ve had a hard month. One of those months where life kicks you in the pants and reminds you that you are not entitled to anything – health, happiness, love – all of those things that define your life can change or disappear in a second. You stand there, breathless from theContinue reading “Resurgence”

November 16, 2021 I ugly cried in my new car today. And I did last night too. In fact, I’ve gotten my tears all over my leather seats in my fancy new vehicle a few times already, and blew my nose into a jacket that I had in the backseat more than once too. Gross,Continue reading “Waiting”

November 14, 2021 One of my favorite questions to ask when I’m on dates with 30-something year old men is “so, what brings you to the clearance rack?” The question usually raises eyebrows, until I explain my silly notion that people dating in their 30’s or 40’s are all on the clearance rack. I likeContinue reading “My Life on the Clearance Rack”

November 13, 2021 I put my Christmas tree up last weekend. Something about covid has compelled me to put it up early over the last couple of years. It’s only about 4 feet tall, and takes less than ten minutes to decorate with my puny collection of ornaments with two main themes: 1) Kentucky andContinue reading “Home for the Holidays”