I Appreciate You

November 5, 2021

I went to a swanky retirement party on Wednesday evening at the type of restaurant I will only visit when it’s on the company’s dime. The party was for two PPMDs (partner, principal, managing directors) at my firm who have been the dynamic duo leadership team for my group at Deloitte. I am not sure how long they have been with the firm, but I met them both just over 5 years ago when I interviewed with Deloitte. I remember getting confused by the Rosslyn parking that day, and showing up sweaty and nervous for my round of interviews for a data scientist position. My first interviewer was a very tall man named Chris, who asked me if I wanted a coke, and spent the majority of our 30 minute interview slot telling me how wonderful and impressive I am rather than asking me questions. I didn’t talk much at all during the interview, and we were interrupted in the middle by another tall, bald man named Frank. Frank busted in and said “I’m late for a meeting, but I heard you are from Kentucky- I am too. We’ll chat later, Kentucky Cousin.”

These two men, Chris and Frank are arguably the most important figures in my tiny corner of the Deloitte multiverse, and they are also two of the kindness, smartest, most insightful and persuasive people I have ever met. They are also very good friends – they have known each other for over 30 years, and owned a company together at one point before they came to Daddy Deloitte. The retirement party had so many people in tears on Wednesday as we came to terms with a future without their guidance and support. I personally teared up the most when someone was giving a speech about the talent pool Frank and Chris have grown over the years, and Frank scanned the crowd with his eyes and pointed directly at me. I also cried when Frank gave his own toast and paid a touching tribute to his wife and three children. Frank and Chris have a lot of ‘isms’, and catchphrases that were discussed in great detail at the party- but I think their impact at Deloitte can be captured best in the three word phrase that they have both uttered countless times each day:”I appreciate you.” These guys are dynamos in terms of success, business sense and creating impact for clients, and are two of the most talented people in this country – yet they are always shouting from the rooftops that they appreciate little nobody’s like me. I can set aside all of the business savvy, delivery excellence, and selling tips they have both imparted to me over the years, and safely say that their true impact on my life has been their unending support, appreciation and confidence building (pudding proof of the latter point can be spotted in my previous blog about self esteem and gratefulness). I now feel compelled to jot down some of my favorite Frank and Chris moments so I can repay the favor and show my appreciation for them.

When I finished my week long orientation at Deloitte in January of 2017, I showed up at the Rosslyn office and got introduced to the weirdness that is working for a consulting firm. You see, it’s not like a normal job where you have your own desk assigned to you that you come and sit at every day. You are on client contracts – sometimes multiple contracts that can change at any time, and you sit where you are needed. You may sit at your client’s workspace, or you may work remotely from the Deloitte office or both. When you are at the Deloitte office, you sit where you can find a spot – the process is called hoteling. You can book a work space for a day, as if you are renting a hotel room. I remember riding the metro to Rosslyn and walking into the big 24-story building with my hot pink Kate Spade bag that my mom bought me for a graduation present- and I stared at all the buttons on the elevator panel wondering which floor I should choose. I went to ten and wandered around like a lost puppy. I stopped at an empty desk and checked my work phone – and sure enough, I had a text from Chris. “Come to 13 when you get here.” When I got to 13, he greeted me with an enthusiastic handshake, and took me to a table full of data scientists. “The cool, geniuses sit over here.” I credit this small act of kindness and attention to my swift development of a network and friend group at work.

Several weeks later, I was on my first contract with the Department of Defense and my client was a really brilliant data scientist named Tom (years later, Tom would take a job at Deloitte and become my boss instead of my client). Tom apparently told Frank “Rebecca is really great and capable, I just wish she would speak up more during meetings.” At an all-hands meeting, Frank sought me out in the group of ~100 practitioners, and got in my face (in a friendly, non-threatening way) and said “Listen lady, you don’t need to be afraid to open your mouth. Every time you do, brilliance comes out. Get out there and show them what you’re made of.” I remember being kind of distraught by this, because I thought I was already letting people down at work. From that moment on, I could tell that Frank was on a mission to help me learn to communicate confidently with clients. He volun-told me to assist with delivery and development of a “conversational analytics” course curriculum. Our difficult task for this class was to explain complex data science concepts to leaders who haven’t had a math class since Freshman year of college. That course was a turning point for me. The success I had with it helped me uncover a talent that I didn’t know I had – I can explain complex topics in terms that anyone can understand. Over the years, this has become my brand at Deloitte. I am not the best programmer or data engineer, but I can talk to a client and help them understand what they are getting with their dollars. I don’t know that I would have discovered this without Frank’s investment and support.

I’ve been having some personal mental health struggles recently. A few weeks ago, I was scheduled to give a talk about selling to over 300 Deloitte practitioners – but I needed an emergency session with my therapist and the only time she could get me in was during the time of my talk. This talk was a big opportunity that Frank had given me, but I felt more than comfortable texting him to tell him the truth about my situation. Not only did he tell me to forget about the talk altogether and focus on myself, he also told me that he put a calendar reminder in his phone to pray for me on the day of my appointment. A couple of weeks later, he introduced me via text message to a lovely lady named Marlene who knows his wife through church. This sweet lady called me on a Wednesday during lunch, and I poured my heart out to her as if I had known her my whole life. The only explanation I have for this openness with a complete stranger (who wasn’t charging me by the hour) was that I knew that Frank trusted her, and I trust Frank. In fact, there’s no one in the DC area that I trust more than Frank. I told him I was thinking about shopping for a new car this week, and his eyes lit up and he said “Let me know if you want me to go with you!” Sometimes I think he’s a really close substitute for Ron Crouch when Ron Crouch is so far away – he has been tough on me when I needed it, but always makes me (and every other lucky person who has worked for him over the years) feel important, special and cared for -“I don’t know what you’re going through and I won’t ask, but I just want you to know you’re not alone.”

After writing this, I realize I’ve had many more interactions with Frank than with Chris over the years – but to me, they are kind of like peanut butter and jelly. It’s hard to think about one of them without thinking of the other. I am so sad to see these men go away from my everyday work life, but they have left behind a legacy of leaders who have been brought up in their image. My direct boss (his name is Steve) is a young version of Frank who has adopted almost all of his ‘isms’ and catchphrases, and his passion for growing talent and truly caring for people along the way. Frank and Chris – if you guys ever read this, just know that I appreciate you and you are the twin pillars of my success thus far, either directly or through other leaders you have cultivated. I hope I continue to lead based on your excellent example and that your ‘isms’ will be carried on and get big laughs at my own retirement party in 100 years.